Painted Red
by Zombie450AriesReBornPrincess
Summary: Once on top, your spot is never guaranteed, especially after an injury. Ashlynn was the Diva's Champion. Being taken out with her injury, another Diva stepped in, taking her spot. She's forced to go to NXT and start over and fight for her way back to the main roster. NXT holds people that makes her face the demons within herself. (Ambrose/OC/Neville)
1. Chapter 1

_**I own nothing but my OC and the plot to this story. Everything else belongs to themselves or the respected party. I mean no disrespect, whatsoever. Enjoy!**_

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><p>Looking at the building, I let a long heavy sigh escape my bright red lips. The last place I wanted to be was here. Lifting my bag on my shoulder, I walked across the parking lot in no hurry to be met with the future of my career. I had it all, really. I was on top in the divas division, dominating any and all divas. I lost my fair share of matches, but I had captured the divas title. I had worked my ass off to get from the bottom to the top.<p>

"Welcome to the performance center, we're happy to have you, Ashlynn." I bet they were happy to have me here. What was I doing here? Injuries happen when you least expect them to. It didn't take them long to replace me. So when I was cleared to return to the ring, I was told to head to developmental until they could find a place on the main roster for me. I found it to be a bunch of bull shit. But if I wanted to keep my job, I had no choice but to come here.

"The pleasure isn't mine," I sighed, running a hand through my honey locks. "I'll do what's asked of me, I'm just not happy that I have to prove myself all over again, with the possibility that I won't ever get back to the main roster." I had a lot to be bitter about. I wasn't going to keep quiet about it either.

"I get your pain." I scuffed hearing his words. How the hell did he understand my pain? He worked management, unless he had been downgraded, he didn't know what getting your dream taken away from you felt like. "Ah just in time." His voice held some relief. I looked up to see Baron Corbin. "You'll be working closely with Baron, over the next few weeks." I ignored his words knowing what he was going to say, until they could find something else for me. Being a valet all over again sucked and put my mood in more of a damper then it already was. But a tiny part of me was excited to be working closely with the one man who had held my interest. I really wasn't sure what to expect with him. I let a chuckle escape watching the man I was just talking to scurry from the room. So much for first impressions.

"You must have done a number on him," he chuckled, moving to sit down, motioning for me to sit down across from him.

"You could say that. I'm not exactly thrilled to be here," I told him. It was no secret that I would rather be else where.

"Why?"

"Seriously?" I asked, watching him nod. "I was on the top of my game and then my fucking knee had to go out. I was pissed with myself, disappointed even. I messed up. It's my fault I'm here when I should be on Raw and Smackdown. I let myself down."

"There's nothing wrong with starting over. Spreading word that you still want to be the baddest bitch around. Gives you the chance to change your character up." I had never thought about it that way before. I had anger and disappointment clouding my judgment, to think that this could be a good thing for me. "You had nothing else to prove up there. You went out on the top. There's no doubt you'll be back there kicking ass and taking names once more."

"You may have a very interesting point," I suggested.

"I always do, sweetheart," he smirked, walking off. I frowned despite my cheeks suddenly feeling like they were on fire. I chased after him, catching him before catering.

"I thought we're suppose to go over the plan for the next few shows?" I asked, getting him to stop short of the doorway.

"Do what comes natural," he shrugged. "Obviously they trust you enough to let you have some freedom with this. Do what you feel is right, don't hold back," he told me. Wow! Who would have thought that he could be this insightful? I wasn't expecting that one tiny bit. Honestly I didn't know what to expect, but I wasn't told anything other than performance center and NXT. Along with the line of you'll find out when you report Thursday before the show.

"See ya out there," I smirked, gripping the strap to my bag, heading off in the direction of the divas locker room. I wasn't close to being shy or even self-conscious. I was out spoken and knew how to handle myself with confidence even on the days I couldn't handle the pressure I put on myself. But walking the halls seeing the looks that ranged from rage, disgust and even some jealousy threw in, had me shying away, curling up into a ball within myself. I felt like my dorky 15-year-old self all over again. I was relived when I had finally reached the divas locker room. Though stepping inside, the atmosphere wasn't any better, it was actually worse. I ignored the looks on their faces as I moved through the room going to the back.

"You don't being here!" They needed to tell me something I didn't know. "You're washed up, using the fame we created here, to get yourself back into the game. It ain't happening." I looked up from my spot on the bench, to see an out raged Sasha.

"I ain't here to take anything from you. I'm here for two reasons. I was forced to come here and I'm going to prove that I belong," I seethed, anger burning in my hazel eyes.

"Ash, I didn't know you were coming back, and to NXT." I smiled at the blonde. We had become close on the main roster.

"Oh no, Nat, I get to start over, because they don't have anything for me on the main roster. Some crap that I need this, but I was so pissed I stopped listening. Nothing like a kick to the gut when you're already down," I sighed. "But I guess it's better than wasting away at home."

"Give it a chance, you'll learn to love it here. It'll be your home away from home." I didn't want to be here that long. This was going to be one crazy ride back to the top, where I truly belonged. I shrugged, placing my stuff in a locker, before heading out.

"Little Miss Jazzy." I smiled tuning around coming face to face with one of my oldest friends in the business. I was quick to pull him in for a hug. He was the only one to ever call me Jazzy, referring to my middle name of Jazmine. "Don't tell me you're here to scout the talent." The smile I had wore dropped, instantly turning into a frown. "What did I say?" He frowned.

"I'm here for the unforeseeable future," I told him with a sigh.

"Ah, I'll let you in on a little secret, it's a lot of fun around here."

"For once Sami, I hope you're right." He flung his arm around me steering me in the direction of catering.

"That hurts that you have never wanted me to be happy." If anyone could get me to laugh, it was him. I shrugged, looking at him with laughter in my eyes. "Guys look who I found bumming around outside." I rolled my eyes, smiling at a few of the old friends I had made once upon a time on the indys.

"Boys," I greeted sitting down.

"I was staring to wonder if we would ever see you around here. It broke my heart Lee, come on now, I'm your brother from another family." I gave Sami or as most people know him Solomon a punch to the arm. Way back when it was him and one other person that had taken me under their wings. I practically became their sister.

"Main roster kept me busy, after my injury I was to pissed at myself to talk to anyone." That wasn't entirely true. I had kept in contact with one person, but he wouldn't leave me the hell alone.

"I kept tabs on you," he smirked with a wink. I swear my eyes were going to be sore from all the eye rolls today.

"My little Ashes," I cringed hearing that name, because I despised it. Ashes were something that was left over from a fire, something people flick off their cigarettes, it made me feel gross, but at the same time it made my insides burn. He looked good and he didn't seem that pissed with me.

"My little jumping Geordy," I replied back, giving him a hug. I had a past with him and with the way my feelings had reemerged, I was far from done. It might not be so bad to be here. Not if I got to hang out with some of my oldest and dearest friends. "Well boys, we'll have to catch up later, I've got a show to get ready for." I never knew just how good of a mood your friends could put you in, until now.

"So you're gonna be around for a while?"

"For the time being," I sighed, walking off. I wasn't even left to my thoughts because Adrian had caught up with me.

"Is it really that bad to be with your friends, doing what we love, together?" I stopped, turning to look at him.

"No, I'm not good with starting over. Everything was prefect before my knee injury and now I have no choice but to start over." I let my eyes lock with his. Every feeling I had for him, sat on the surface. "You should know that, out of everyone." Things didn't really end between us.

"Should I?" He asked, his anger visible. "Because I recall knowing every thing but nothing at all," he hissed. Hurt settled into his eyes, making me feel bad for the choice I had made.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. It may have been 3 years to late, though. He shook his head walking away. I really had messed up when it came to him. Shaking all the old feelings away, I continued to the locker room. I froze feeling arms go around me.

"Oh my gosh!" I let a smile break through, turning to hug her back. "I'm a huge fan. You're like amazing." I let a small giggle roll from my tongue.

"You're quite amazing yourself, Bayley. Hopefully I'll be able to work a match or two with you while I'm here." That made her squeeze me tighter.

"Thanks, for that," she commented, letting me go. I moved to where my stuff was. Pulling out the bag that had my outfit for the night, I sighed looking at the bag. I wasn't even sure what the garment bag held. It showed up at my door and I never had the guts to open it. Slowly with a shaky breath, I pulled the zipper down.

I ran my hands through my honey hair looking at my reflection. I head on tight blue skinny Jeans, a black corset with small chains crossing in the front. Black knee-high 5 inch heel boots. This wasn't my normal clothing, but oddly enough I was liking this look and felt amazingly sexy in it.

I was ready for my debut in NXT.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to those that have taken an interest in this story so far. I'll be switching off from real names and their ring names.  
>Rami is Sami Zayn,<br>Sami is Solomon Crowe,  
>Jonathon Good is Dean Ambrose,<br>Ben is Adrian Neville  
>Enjoy!<strong>

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><p>The second the ref signals for the bell, I walked out to the ramp, getting the fans to cheer the second they spot me. It's a struggle to keep the smile off my face, keeping my serious look firmly in place. My presence didn't distract either one of the men in the ring.<p>

"Whoa! Jessie is here," Alex Riley announced from his spot at the announcer's table.

"What is it she wants here?" Albert asked.

"We're about to find that out," Alex said.

With a few small foot steps, I made my way to the ring. The match had ended with Baron getting the win over CJ Parker. The rematch from the previous week that had taken place at Take Over. I shared a look with Baron, I was smirking on the inside. I slipped under the ropes getting into the ring checking on CJ.

"Alex, we may have our answer, she's here for CJ Parker."

I extend my hand helping him up. The concern I had plastered on my face turns to venom. I back up using the ropes, I push-off doing a bulldog. I wait in the corner for him to get to his feet. Once he does, I run at him nailing Black Flag, which is just a drop kick. I smile coyly walking to the back.

"I have no words on what just happened here," Alex said stunned.

I knew how much I missed being in the ring over the last year and a half but what energy I did feel from the crowd was magnetic. I was ready to go back out there and have an actual match.

"Now that. That I wasn't expecting you to do." I turned giving him a shocked face.

"Then don't expect things from me. I like doing me and not what others expect. But that was Jessie out there and not Ashlynn. We're two very different people but yet the same." It was confusing because it was me out there but when I'm Jessie, everything that I am falls away.

"You might get hurt if you expect too much from her." I bit my tongue looking at him. The pain I caused him so long ago visible in his eyes, if you knew what to look for. I felt bad, I just didn't know how to fix what I had broken. Maybe there was no fixing to it and that hurt even more. I watched him with sad eyes as he walked away. My broken self staying visible far to long.

"You guys have a past, huh?" I nodded afraid my voice would break if I dare try to talk. It was a past I wasn't ready to face, but now I had no choice but to face it. I needed him to understand why I did what I had done. It wasn't to hurt him.

"It's complicated to say the least," I told him the second I could find my voice. "I'm not ready to uncomplicate things," I informed him before he had a chance to say anything. The last thing I needed was a lecture from someone I barely knew. I shook my head walking off.

"Who made it rain under your umbrella?" I frowned finding myself in his warm embrace. If I had a brother I wanted one to be like this man.

"I did," I told him, burying my head into his chest. "I don't know how to fix it, either," I confessed my voice being muffled by his shirt.

"Adrian?" He asked in a hushed whisper.

"Yeah," I replied. There was only two people in this whole world I had confided in. I needed to talk to someone and they would have drug it out of my mouth, if I didn't willing share the news with them.

"We'll go get a drink or a few after the tapings. I moved away from him.

"That might be nice after this whole day." It was a good way to end this horrible day. Even though it had some good moments, it was far from a good day.

"I won't mention the part where we play a round of catch up." I gave him a small push rolling my eyes.

"Even with the game of catch up, I'm looking forward to it," I told him, walking off.

"I was thinking we could go out so you could get to know some of the divas," Nat suggested, slipping her arm through mine.

"Sorry but I need a rain check. I've already got plans. One that I can't cancel," I told her, stopping in front of the divas locker room.

"Maybe another night, then," she replied, walking in. I followed behind her, getting my street clothes put back on.

"Don't think for a second that because you impressed most people around here that you deserve it," Sasha snapped.

"You won't succeed in this little scheme to get under my skin. You will however piss me off enough to knock you the fuck out," I hissed, grabbing my things. "I'm the wrong diva to mess with," I stated, walking out. When I walked through those doors a few hours ago I had nothing against any single person here. I had secrets and indifference's with only one person and they would get sorted out eventually, other than that I had a clean slate. At least I thought I did, but seeing that a few of the divas here would rather have me gone, had me questioning if I was doing the right thing for my career. Jealousy was easy to come by around here especially when everyone wants the same title and the same chance to prove why they deserve to be on the main roster.

"Here I thought you were for the environment. Do you have that big of a disdain for mother earth?" I rose an eyebrow looking over at him.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to find me. Everyone else from past can't seem to stay away, now that I'm here."

"To be fair, short stack. The others are from before we knew each other. So I'm not from that past. I'm from the current past." The smug look on his face had me laughing. It wasn't long after I had come to FCW that Graves had showed up as well. Our love for body art taking control of our friendship. I had a few but nothing like his. The ones I had were place holders on my past, whether it was a good memory or a memory that was life shattering. He was only a good 5 inches taller than me. I wasn't that short. "Is that the sole reason you don't want to be here?"

"What's that?" I asked, afraid he would nail it on the head.

"The past you had escaped once is now here. I know it sucks to feel like this is the wrong direction and you'll never make it back up to the main roster, but you need to believe in yourself again. There is nothing wrong with starting over. They're watching you to see if you still got that star power you had when you went out with an injury. Matter of time, especially if you keep attacking the talent around here." I let a breath out. It had taken him a few weeks to be able to read me like an open book. In a way I was happy to see that had yet to change, but in other ways I was disappointed that he knew still knew me so well.

"I know running from my past wasn't smart, but the longer I ran from it the further it got behind me, now I'm forced to confront it and for the first time in years I have to think about it, unbury it. I'm not ready to do that, I don't know if I ever will be. So yeah part of me didn't want to be here because of that reason alone. I really do feel like my career is going back instead of forward." It was easy to be honest with him. He may not have known the details, but he knew I was running from something; from someone.

"Don't you think it's about time you face this demon?" He asked, walking off. I ran a hand through my hair. It may be time to face it but I didn't want to face it, not yet.

"I was wondering where you went. I rode here with some of the guys, you don't mind giving me a ride home from the bar do you?"

"I don't mind at all," I told him with a weak smile. "Actually here, you can drive to the bar." I wasn't in the right frame of mind to be driving, not when so much shit was laying in the fore front of my mind.

The drive to the bar was a quick and quiet one. He asked no questions and I didn't opt to say anything. I was having enough trouble sorting through my mind as it was. My memory bringing up old memories I had forgotten all about. Memories I didn't want to end.

"Let me in Lee," he stated. My grip on my bottle of beer tightening. I looked him in the eye not sure I could. "I'll call Ambrose, we both know he can get it out of you." Jonathan Good had always been better at getting me to talk. Sami had always been better comforting me.

"He wouldn't be here until next week. He has the house shows this weekend, with Raw on Monday, Main Event and Smackdown on Tuesday. He's a busy man these days," I countered as an excuse.

"Fine," he sighed, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table.

"I know you have your demons with Ben, but had anything else happened since then?" I was expecting these questions and I was ready for them as long as things didn't take a turn.

"I've been good, right up until my knee gave out. But you knew that."

"I would hardly call a few phone calls every few months keeping in contact. If it wasn't for, Jon or the fact I was able to see you on my TV screen every week, I would have started to think that you were no longer with us." I hated that I had just about ruined my friendship with him, after everything. But it was easier since he was so close to what caused my pain.

"I'm sorry about that, it's just..." I told him, stopping to chew on my lip, when my gaze caught the two guys walking our way. "Did you tell them?" I asked, nodding in the direction of the bar where they had stopped to get a drink.

"I may have mentioned it." I wanted to be pissed at him, but the small smile he wore and the apology that was in his eyes said enough. He didn't invite them along, they came on their own will.

"Things start to go wrong, I'm out of here," I warned, taking a drink from my beer.

"Fair enough."

"How'd it feel to be back?" I couldn't even look at Rami. My eyes were locked on Adrian's. Every feeling I ever had for him rose within my body. The love I had once shared with him; the pain I caused him; the laughs we shared; the tears that were shed; the anger we caused the other and finally the depression that had come with walking away. I was aware of the heat that surged through my body, going so far south, it was uncomfortable to sit here. I squirmed in my seat, breaking the eye contact I had, giving Rami, my full attention.

"Amazing," I replied with a real genuine smile.

"You know when you get a chance to have a real match?" I shook my head.

"Valet for now. We'll see if things change in a few Weeks or not. Though I'm itching for a match with Sasha," I announced, gritting my teeth together.

"Why's that?" Sami asked, amusement in his voice.

"She pisses me off," I stated, leaving it at that.

"You'll get her," Adrian stated. I gave him a small smile. It was easy to pretend when people were around that things between us were like they had been before I up and left. It was when it was just the two of us that things got heated. He wanted the answers I wasn't ready to share just yet. And on some level I knew that was wrong of me, for keeping things from him. "I need to get home. We can play catch up later," I informed Sami.

"You got it." I had given two out of the three guys hugs, but when it came to Adrian, I just wasn't sure, I could leave his warm intoxicating embrace. Instead I gave him a smile making my way from the bar.

Tonight had been different. I was still trying to decided of it was a good or a bad different or maybe it was a mix of both. I frowned seeing a different car parked in my driveway. It wasn't the one that should have been there. Seeing movement in my living room, is when I saw who was here and it was surprising to say the least. I looked at the all of the windows seeing that all the lights were off upstairs.

"What are you doing here?" I asked stepping into my house, setting my bag down on the floor by the door.

"I knew tonight was going to be though on you," he explained like it was nothing. Maybe it was nothing. I fell on the couch by him.

"I'm lost, Jonny. What am I supposed to do?"

"He needs to know the truth, Minnie. It's time someone else knows as well."

"I know," I sighed, leaning my head against him. "He's going to hate me, more than he already does now."

"He doesn't hate you. He's mad and upset with what you did to him, and it's going to be worse when you tell him everything, but you gotta do it. You've had the time to think and digest this for years now. It's time. You'll feel better when you tell him." I wanted so badly to believe him, but I couldn't. Not that easily anyway.

"I'll try," I told him. "We can talk more in the morning. I'm beat. He okay?"

"Yeah. Night, Minnie." I hugged him, kissing his cheek. He called me Minnie the second he learned about my love for Minnie mouse. I grabbed my things on my way to my room. Letting my demons stay hid from the one person that had every right to know wasn't exactly easy and it wore me out. When my head hit the pillow, I realized I wouldn't be tossing and turning trying to figure things out. I was by far way to exhausted for that. My eyes closed and I was soon heading into the dark abyss of sleep. My problems on the back burner for now.


	3. Chapter 3

Being able to actually sleep past 8 felt refreshing. Getting a whiff of burnt food, had me running down the stairs. My hands on my hips as I surveyed my smoke-filled kitchen. I wanted to be angry at him, but I couldn't quite wipe the smile off my face. Everyone was okay and it was from his heart, at least he thought about making breakfast.

"What happened?" I asked, rushing to open windows and the back door, the burnt smell finally getting to me.

"Breakfast mishap," Jon shrugged, grabbing bowls and the cereal. Him trying to burn my kitchen up was the least of my problems. "You look better now that you got some sleep.

"I haven't been able to sleep since they told me I was headed to NXT," I replied, getting the milk.

"Which brings us back to Adrian." I shook my head sitting at the table.

"Why can't we just leave that topic alone?" I asked, wanting to focus on anything else.

"Because I know a 3-year-old that deserves to have his father around. If anyone knows what it's like not to have a father it's me." It wasn't as if I didn't know. My own father used work as an excuse to have affairs and never be home, leaving my Mom to do everything, but she had handled everything perfectly. Better than I would ever be able to handle things. I was starting to think that I had trust issues because of my father.

"I know," I sighed. "But he's been mine for the last 3 years. Almost 4. It's not that easy, Jon."

"Make it that easy, because he'll be here around 1 for lunch. To talk to you. It's not too late."

"How do you know?" I asked, pushing the bowl away from me. I suddenly lost my appetite. "How could you do this?" It's always going to be too late, because I screwed up.

"Because I hate seeing you in pain. You're ready for this." I was scared to admit to anyone the truth, especially to the one person that deserved to know the whole truth. He was right, I was ready and it's time I stop convincing myself that I'm not ready. "You need anything call. But I've got a flight to catch."

"Thanks for nothing," I told him, pulling him into a hug.

"Anytime," he responded, hugging back. "It's going to be okay." I nodded, needing his reassurance. With him gone I set about getting the smell of burnt food from my house. I wanted the air to be clear between myself and Ben, but it was always hard to reopen that can of worms all over again.

"Uncle Jon said I meet my Daddy today. Do I?" Looking at my son from the opposite side of the counter, he had every right to know who his father is. I should have never kept this from either one of them. I suddenly felt ashamed for what I had done. I should have sucked my pride up the second I was told. But I refused to go running back after the way I had left, without so much as a note.

"In a few more hours, monkey. That means when you're done eating, you need to go straight to the tub." His brown little eyes lit up at the sound of that. He stuffed his mouth full even after I told him countless times to take small bites.

With him in the tub, I was able to get ready for the day. I kept an eye on him, but I didn't have to stand and keep an eye on him every second he was in the tub playing.

After his bath I let him pick out his own clothes and left him to get dressed. If he needed help he would call for me. With only an hour to spare, I set about trying to find something to make for lunch. I pulled out some Mac N Cheese, knowing it was my son's favorite food and it was the easiest thing to make with the time I had left. I also decided on a little salad. I was lucky that my son kept his toys in his play room and not all over the house, so there wasn't anything that needed to be picked up.

"Hey," I replied, pulling the door open. This was my moment of truth. I couldn't go running scared now.

"Hey, I was told this was urgent, otherwise I wouldn't be here." I nodded, motioning for him to enter. It took all my restraint not to tell him off. I didn't need to get into an argument with him the second I saw him. I motioned for him to follow me to the kitchen. If I wasn't in the process of making lunch, we would've sat in the living room.

"Sit please," I told him, walking to the stove checking on the water. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry for leaving the way I had. I just didn't know how to handle it all. I was handed my dream but I didn't want to hurt you either. Though I hurt you worse than I could have ever imagined."

"This is what I do to, Ashlynn. I would have understood, we could have found a way for it to work out."

"I know," I told him sheepishly. "I want things to be fixed between us, I just don't know how I can do that."

"I need to hear why you really thought running from what we had, was the best way to go about this." For the first time in years I was ready to tell him why I had left the way I had and why I had never contacted him once I was already gone.

"Mom!" Was being shouted before I could say anything.

"Mum?" He asked. I didn't have the time to explain anything, when he came running into the kitchen.

"Mom! Look! It's Adrian Neville!" I kept my son from most the wrestlers. It was a secret after all and for the last almost 4 years, needed to be left that way. I could see that Ben was trying to figure it out in his head. It was easy when you really looked at him. "Have you seen my other shoe?" He asked holding his foot up to show me what shoe he was looking for.

"Did you try looking under your bed?" I asked. He raced off upstairs, leaving his mess behind. I didn't dare look at him or even in his general direction.

"Is he the reason you left? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"No," I quickly told him, to stop the onslaught of questions that he had. "He wasn't the reason I left, it wasn't until months later when I had found out and by then I was to scared to come crawling back to tell you, especially when I was finally living my dream. I wanted to tell you, but it was easier to keep putting it off and convincing myself I was doing the right thing. And before you deny him, I wasn't cheating on you."

"That's good to know," he scoffed, getting up. It broke my heart that I would have to explain why his father hadn't showed up. "What's his name?" His voice grew softer.

"Isaac Jaysen Alexander," I told him with a sigh, turning to drain the noodles. "His room is the first door on the left, if he's not there then he's a door down on the right in the play room. Go on up."

With a moment to finally be able to breathe without the weight of the world on my shoulders, it was refreshing. I busied myself getting lunch on the table to keep things from entering my mind. Things that would never be, especially after everything that I had done to hurt the guy I had loved more than anyone else in the world. I was still working on the obstacle of breaking the news to my son, I guess now it was our son, that was if he wanted anything to do with him.

"I was just on my way to come get you both. Hands washed?" I asked.

"But, Mom, they're still clean. I didn't get them dirty," he pouted.

"But did you wash them after you went to the bathroom?" I asked, giving him a knowing look. He mumbled running off. "Do you want to tell him now or do you want to give it a few days?" I asked.

"I've already missed three years of his life. I don't want to be cheated on any more time." Ironically enough I felt where he was coming from.

"Can you please let me tell him," I begged.

"I don't even know how to approach this subject." I nodded, sitting down. A slight awkward silence filled the room. At one point in my life I had told this man everything. There was never a secret between us. Truth be told, I could have given everything up for him. All my dreams in my life easily changed the more time I was with him and that scared the piss out of me. So the first chance I had to run I took it. I had done everything wrong. He would never love me the way we had once loved. I only had myself to blame for that.

"Mommy, I thought my Daddy was coming today?"

"Sit, I need to explain that to you." He looked at me with expectant eyes and for the first time, I was at a loss on what to tell him. It should have been easy. But the bricks I had built so long ago where slowly crumbling. For the first time since he was born, he was no longer just mine. I now had to share him.

"What, Mommy?"

"You remember how I told you one day that your Daddy would show up? That even though he wasn't here with you, didn't mean he didn't love you any less? That one day you would have him in your life?" I asked trying to recall everything I had told him. He nodded his little head, the brown mop of hair bouncing with the movement. It was then that I realized just how badly he needed his hair cut. Shaking my thoughts, I looked at Ben to see how he was holding up and I couldn't read him. And that threw me off. "Ben or Adrian here," I said motioning over to him, now he held a weak smile. "He's your Daddy," I finally said, removing the last brick that had laid heavily on my chest for years. The excitement and joy that crossed his eyes filled my heart with joy. I bit back my laughter hearing Isaac rattle question after question off.

This was the right thing to do. I was just to stupid and self absorb to every realize it sooner.

"One question at a time," I reminded him, letting him catch his breath for a second.

"Can you come to my birthday party next month? We're doing go karts, mini golf and laser tag. You'll come won't you?" He asked, happiness and hope stood out the most in his eyes.

"I'll get the information from your Mum." He went with the safest answer. Though Isaac wasn't waiting. He disappeared into the living room coming back with a Ninja Turtle invitation.

"Now you have to come, Daddy," he smiled, making me hold my breath, waiting to see what was going to happen.

"I guess I do," he smiled. "All I need to do is find the perfect present." I leaned back amazed at how easy things seemed right now. How family-esq this whole thing felt. How the tiniest spark in one little boy's eyes lit the whole room up. Seeing the exchange before me, I don't know what I was so afraid of.


	4. Chapter 4

The past few days had flown by since Ben had come around finding out he had a son. We had talked a few times over the phone but it was always about Isaac and nothing more. He had spent plenty of time talking to Isaac as well. Walking into the performance center, I didn't know what to expect. I had made it to the Diva's locker room seeing none of my friends. I quickly got changed into a black leather halter dress that stopped mid-thigh. I finished my look with dark purple pumps. My hair was done in a slick pony with smokey eye.

"Nervous?" I smirked, looking at Nat.

"Never," I responded with a light chuckle. I was ready and itching to get into the ring. I didn't have a match tonight, I had an apology to deliver.

"That a girl." I smiled, turning to look around feeling that someone was watching me, but I saw no one. I shrugged getting into place ready to go out. My music that I'd had forever started to play. 'Phenomenon by Thousand Foot Crunch'. I got in the ring grabbing a mic.

"Last week, I had attacked CJ Parker." I watched as they replayed what happened last week. "CJ can you come to the ring please?" I asked, waiting for him to come out. I wasn't left waiting long before he made his way down. "It wasn't personal. I'm sorry that you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't feel sorry for my actions. I'm not sorry that you were the one on the other side."

"Such garbage, Jessie. But that is the only thing that spews from that mouth of yours."

"I should have caused you more pain. Kicked some sense into that head of yours," I stated, starting to pace. "I felt sorry for you once. But now, I can't even look at you. Why don't you run back to saving the world from trash like yourself?" I asked, dropping my mic, ready to leave.

"Nice one, Jessie. I don't need your sympathy or your pity. The only trash I see is you and I don't hit little girls." That was a low blow even if he didn't know it. For the last, few years, I've felt like trash for keeping something so huge from the one man I swore I loved, maybe I still love him."

"I may be trash, but I'm not forcing environment issues down people's throats," I yelled into his mic, getting out of the ring. At the top of the ramp I turned to look back at CJ, shaking my head, walking off.

"I have to agree with him, for different reasons." I bit back the tears, looking at the man I had once loved. Had he always been such a douche? The man I had remembered was nothing but sweet and caring. Not this jackass of a man. Maybe it was from me.

"You aren't the only one," I responded. I wanted to close the gap between us and feel his strong arms wrapped around me giving me the comfort and the strength they had always gave me.

"Lee, we still on for tomorrow?" Sam asked, rounding the corner. "Oh.. Um later."

"Yeah tomorrow for lunch. Isaac can't stop talking about it, Ben is coming along to," I informed them, leaving no room for negotiations. I wasn't trying to push fatherhood on him, but I wanted him to take baby steps and this seemed right. "Isaac also wants to know if he can stay with uncle Sami for the night," I told Sam.

"Yeah, that'll be fine, I'll drop him off when I pick you up for the road."

"Actually, I think he can come with again." I wasn't sure what I was getting into here, but on the main roster he had came with, my Mom dropped everything to help me out. She traveled with me so I could see my son every day and I had a better chance at not missing out on things. With everything in NXT I couldn't afford to bring him a long, but now that the truth had been revealed, it should be safe.

"Cool, I'll catch ya later." I nodded, hugging him.

"I'm sorry," I said once more turning to walk off. "You don't have to come tomorrow if you don't want. That was wrong of me, I just want the best for Isaac."

"If you wanted the best for Isaac, you wouldn't have kept him from me," he hissed storming off. This time I couldn't hold back the tears. I jumped feeling arms wrap around me.

"Huh, I never pegged for this void you had in your life to be from the NXT champion himself." I sighed in his embrace.

"Life is pretty mysterious at times," I responded, wiping the water trails and make-up from my face.

"That it is. You ok?" His concern had always surprised me, even know.

"Not that I need that ego of yours to grow even more, Graves, but I'm better now," I responded with a smile. In a strange way it was nice to have him there for me. "I've got a segment I need to be at. Later."

"Later, Lynn."

On my way I stopped to get my make-up fixed, I didn't need to look like a raccoon on TV.

"Jessie I've been looking for you."I looked up to see Baron standing there, expressionless once again. "CJ was out of line earlier. You ok?"

"Yea," I told him, chewing my lip. "I did it for you," I confessed, briskly walking off.

Walking into my house felt nice. I climbed the stairs in the dark. My mom stayed the nights I needed someone to watch my boy. She insisted to do it, not wanting to put him in daycare, because the things she had heard throughout her life. I didn't mind. I smiled seeing that she was fast asleep in the room I had insisted she take.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Isaac yelled jumping on the bed. Peeking to see where on the bed he was at before grabbing and tickling him, laughter filling the once empty room. "Mommy," he laughed. I stopped to kiss his head, snuggling down into bed with him.

"Yes, sweetie, in a few hours we're going to go meet uncle Sami and you can stay at his house tonight."

"I gotta pack, Mommy!" He exclaimed, wiggling free running off again.

"Thanks again, Mom." I announced, making my way downstairs, seeing my Mom get waffles on the table. I got myself some fruit. At least she doesn't start my kitchen on fire.

"It's nothing sweetie. Will I be needed tomorrow night?"

"No, he's coming with," I stated, chewing my lip.

"You really did tell Ben?" She asked, sitting down. "How's that going? Isaac mentioned something about meeting him, but I wasn't sure."

"Jon kinda forced me. I was backed up against a wall. I'm not really sure. I think it's still a shock to him. He's been pretty excited about it. I just wish I would have told him sooner."

"Things still not good with him, sweetie?"

"No, but that was to be expected," I sighed. "As long as he builds a bond with Isaac, that's what I care about." Isaac was my first priority in all of this. If things never changed between myself and Ben, so be it.

"We go now, Mommy?"

"No bud, we gotta wait for uncle Sami to get here.

All during lunch Isaac rambled on, talking every ones ears off. I kept stealing glances at Ben. I wanted a chance to be alone with him. You could feel the tension between us. It really needed to be dealt with.

"Mommy, can I go play games with uncle Sami?"

"Try to let him win this time, okay?" He shrugged taking Sami's hand. I wanted to be alone with Ben all night and now I didn't even know what to say to him.

"I need your help," he said, sounding rather defeated.

"With?" I asked, sounding surprised.

"I want to get a room set up for him at my place, I just don't know what he all likes. And I need help with that birthday present."

"We can do it after we leave here. Sam is taking Isaac for the night. But you would have to give me a ride home."

"Yea, sure that sounds alright."

Maybe things were starting to look up from here.


	5. Chapter 5

"Thanks for the help, it was nice," he confessed, parking in my driveway. I stepped out of his car bending down.

"You're welcome, it really was. You wanna come in for some tea?" I asked. The invitation lingered for a few moments. I didn't want this nice and easy-going thing that was going on to end just yet. It had been years since we had been this nice to each other. It wasn't forced because we were around our friends. We were getting back to the way we always were. I smiled watching him turn his car off.

"I thought you wouldn't give up your coffee for anything?" He questioned with a faint chuckle.

"I swore I wouldn't, but some things kinda stick with you," I answered, unlocking the door. I loved my coffee but the more time I spent with Ben, the less I had a desire for coffee. The void was filled with tea. So many great favors to choose from. After leaving him and starting my new found life, I just didn't have that urge for coffee any longer. "Here," I told him shoving a photo album in his hands. "Pictures of Isaac. It's a little something I've been working on when I was injured. It was wrong to keep him from you and I can't change that, but they're pictures from every holiday, birthday and random moments the past few years."

"Thanks," he replied, setting the book down.

"I deserve your anger. I actually prefer it," I commented, walking to the kitchen, to get the water boiling for tea.

"Why's that?" He questioned, following behind me, using the counter to hold him up.

"Because I knew what to expect from you. Now? I don't, not when you're being so nice to me." The fact we were actually getting along, it was nice and I was tired of his remarks, they hurt even if I did deserve them. But he had years of anger pent up for me and I would take it. I really did prefer it that way, because I knew what would be next. With him being nice, I couldn't figure out what would happen next? He could snap at me or he could...I just didn't know what.

"I'm going to be angry with you for a long time, Ashlynn. It's just easier to let it go and get along for the sake of Isaac." I nodded at his understanding. There was no need to put Isaac through anymore than what he has already been through.

"You know my biggest regret was walking away from the best thing in my life. I didn't want to believe that I had everything with you." The problem with confessions, they come out when you least expect them to.

"Why did you leave without a goodbye?" I had been waiting for him to ask this question, since last week. I knew at some point today, he would ask it, since we were alone.

"Because it was easier. Because you would have talked me out of leaving. I needed to show myself that I could succeed without anyone else. I started my career without anyone else, I felt I need to take the next step of my career, by myself. I was wrong in doing that." It wasn't a choice I was happy I made. I had lived with the one reminder. I didn't have a choice in the matter, after it was made. I wasn't the person that could suck up everything I had done wrong and go back. I had to keep moving forward.

"That's where you're wrong, I would have let you leave. Do you honesty think that I would make you give up your dream?" He asked, his anger growing by the second.

"No," I replied with a sigh. "You would have let me go, but we wouldn't have worked out. And that would have hurt to. There was no good ending with us."

"That's for sure," he stated.

"For the record, I still love you," I told him, with a slight cringe. It had spewed from my mouth before I could stop it. "I know it won't ever work, because I screwed up," I confessed, turning the stove off when the kettle blew.

"Somewhere hid under all the anger and hate, I might still have an ounce of love for you, but I wouldn't know. You're right, it wouldn't work out with us. To much bad blood, for that to happen," he informed me. I nodded getting the cups from the counter. "Don't you think we have enough on our hands, as it is?" He asked, stepping closer, taking the cups from my hands. I gulped feeling his breath on my skin. His lips inches from mine. All I wanted to do was close the gasp between us and feel his lips on mine. But that was wrong on so many levels.

"We do," I replied, clearing my throat. Walking away from him, going across the kitchen was hard when you're legs felt like jello. My head was clouded with so many things, I couldn't even think straight not when I wanted to throw caution to the wind and deal with the repercussions later. But for the sake of Isaac, I couldn't do that. I couldn't take his father from him again. "Remember the day we got stuck in the middle of nowhere, because of the snow?" I asked sitting at the table with him.

"That was a disaster," he chuckled. "Five guys plus you staying in one hotel room. That was a blast." I couldn't help but laugh at that. It wasn't a blast, it was a nightmare. But it had brought us together with pizza and a lot of booze.

"I miss the people, I miss making lifetime memories, but I don't miss the horrible traveling conditions."

"You work with most the guys. I don't think I ever saw you hang out with any of the girls."

"To much drama and gossip with them. The guys were easier to deal with," I told him with a shrug. "Most of them anyway."

"You think that maybe one day in the next week, Isaac can spend the night?" I found it cute that he was nervous to ask that question.

"Of course you can. How's next Thursday? He's going to be at that show, watching with my Mom."

"Uh yea, that'll give me time to get his room together. Look I should go." I nodded letting him get up.

"Don't forget the photo album," I told him, not moving from my spot. "I hope we can do this again sometime."

"Me to, Ashes, me to."

"You ever going to call me something other than Ashes?" He shook his head, seeing his way out. Ate hearing his car drive off, I picked my phone up. "I'm in trouble Jonny," I sighed into the phone cleaning the mess from the tea.

"What did you do now?" He asked with an amused chuckle.

"You can be an ass, you know that?" Despite that I still went on to tell him what had happened.

"You're gonna have to figure this out on your own. I can't help you out this time."

"That's not what I wanted to hear," I huffed into the phone.

"I can't do anything for you Ashlynn!" He yelled forcing me to move the phone from my ear.

"Whatever Jon. All I wanted was some advice, and you couldn't even do that. So screw you!" I yelled hanging up.

It might help if I knew what it is I wanted, but that was my problem, I didn't know what it was I wanted anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Last week things didn't go as I had planned with CJ, but CJ from the bottom of my heart I'm sorry that I picked on you. Bullying isn't very cool. I should have done things differently." I went to leave the ring but shook my head. "No! I have a bone to pick with the boss herself Sasha Banks. So why don't you come out here." I wasn't left waiting long._

_"Little bad girl Jessie James calling me out?" Sasha laughed into the mic. "You ain't someone special here. The way I see it, you shouldn't even be here in NXT, you should have been fired."_

_"If I ain't special, than honey come down to this ring and I'll show you why I'm still around," I demanded, getting annoyed with her._

_"I ain't your honey and I don't have to do anything," she stated walking off. I had the urge to sit in the ring and demand for her to come back but instead I got out. I headed over to Isaac hugging him, before kissing his head, I then proceeded to hug my Mom._

"You see there's a slight problem." I frowned looking at Hunter. NXT was his baby and he is the boss. "Step into my office, please." I nodded following him. They wouldn't fire me? Of course they would. What was this slight problem?

"What's going on?" I asked the second the door was closed behind us. It really felt as if I was back in school being sent to the principle's office. That happened frequently.

"I've heard that you've been the cause of some trouble back here. Do we need to pull you off NXT until we can find something else for you?" That was the last thing I wanted. At last being down here I'm on TV.

"No," I replied shaking my head with a sigh. "It's just that I had felt like this was the wrong direction in my career to take, but I honestly feel like it might do me some good. That my career needs this." I was willing to stick out here of my career would survive.

"What about this beef between you and Ben?" He already knew that Ben was the father of Isaac. Things don't stay secret for to long.

"It won't happen at the shows. It'll be dealt with outside of work."

"Good because I would hate to lose both of you because you couldn't be professional at work." I nodded, hating that I was being reprimanded for something that I knew better than. "Ashlynn, how are things? You must have told him since Isaac is here."

"He does know, and it's touch and go. I want Isaac to be happy, his happiness comes before mine." I felt that way since he was born. It was just time I suck my pride up. Every child deserves to know both their parents.

"I feel the same way about my daughters. I'm trusting you to fix this before I'm forced to do that." I nodded getting up.

"It will be," I assured him on my way out. I really didn't know what I was going to do to fix things between us. Now that things had came out, it was going to take time, time we didn't have.

"Just like the big bad girl you are, walking outta the bosses office with a certain look. You didn't, did you?" Graves smirked. I shoved him amused more than anything that he thought that.

"Yuck no! I can get ahead in the ring not by doing my boss."

"We all do things we're ashamed of." I had a lot of things to be ashamed of, but I never slept with or did a sexual favor for any of my bosses or promoters. I would walk out the second they would suggest that.

"I've screwed up in life, it can't be helped. I have things that I'm very ashamed of, but that's not it. Nor will it ever be."

"I know Lee. You doing okay?" Just like that his whole demeanor had changed.

"Yeah, nothing I can't handle, really." Could he tell I was lying? The words sounded like lie coming from my mouth. The way he was looking at me, he knew something was off. He just didn't have a chance to ask what it was, because Ben was approaching us, fast.

"You know where to find me, if you need anything." I nodded giving him a hug.

"Hey," I told Ben, walking to where he had stopped.

"So Hunter pulled me off because we can't get along." So it just wasn't me that had a little talking to.

"Same here," I sighed. "But that's what we get, for acting the way we have been. I really want to get past this riff I have created."

"I want to get past this to, but it's not that easy." I watched him run a hand through his hair.

"You think I don't know that?" I asked. It wasn't any easier on me. "I miss you," I whispered. It was the first time I had said that to anyone. It was one of the few times I let myself admit how much I wanted to have him in my life.

"No, you think you do," he hissed. The gap between us closed, I wasn't even aware of the fact until I find my lips against his feeling on fire. I moaned feeling his tongue dominate mine. My fingers dug into his broad shoulders, not only wanting more but needing more. It was the awkwardness after the kiss broke that had me stunned.

"All of Isaac's things are in the car. So you'll have to stop by my car to get them." Avoiding the question on what was going on between us was better left avoided at work. I didn't know what to make of it. "With tomorrow being Friday he won't eat anything other than chocolate chip pancakes with peanut butter and banana slices on top with chocolate milk. He really won't eat anything else for the rest of the day."

"He can't be that bad," he laughed.

"You'll see," I smirked, knowing just how bad he can be, because he was my son. "He did get this habit from somewhere. I've to go," I told him walking off. Things had taken a turn between us but yet I still don't know what it's going to take for him to forgive me, completely.

_"Jessie, you're known for brash and exploitive actions on both Raw and Smackdown. That hasn't changed as we saw, but why Sasha?"_

_"Because I can't stand her. What's she the boss of anyway? She reminds of me when I first started out. I was lucky enough to get put in my place a time or two, not that it worked, because I came coming back for more. I've been finding quite a lot of spare time at home recovering from my injury, I watched every week. I want to see her face when I demolish her."_

_"What brings you to NXT?"_

_"The arrogance that Sasha has, really. No one can have my thunder. It's not personal, just business. NXT isn't for me, I'm going to crush these girls until they're broken and I'm on the main roster once again. The whole world will see you don't chase after Jessie James, oh no, I'll come to you." I was hit from behind landing on the floor, holding my head._

_"You best run, Jessie. I see nothing dangerous about you," she snapped, walking off._

I headed back to the locker room to change rubbing my neck as I went. It felt a little sore. I had the weekend to rest. It just wasn't going to be the same without my baby boy around this weekend. I didn't plan to do anything either, it was going to be nice to actually relax and get some housework done.

"Did you enjoy the show?" I asked, picking Isaac up.

"Is daddy okay?" He asked ready to cry if told otherwise.

"He's fine," I promised, walking through the arena to leave. "You ready to spend the weekend with him?" He nodded his head, giving a little yawn. Poor boy was going to be sound asleep within two minutes of the car ride. Before the show he had hung out with Sam and Rami along with Ben.

"Hey buddy," Ben greeted, reaching for him. Isaac gladly went.

"Here's his stuff. Call any time if something happens," I warned him. "Okay monkey, I'll see you in a few days." I took him giving him a hug and a kiss, handing him back. "Be good for Daddy. I love you."

"Okay, love you Mommy," he yawned, moving to rest his head on Ben's shoulder. He was parked across from me a few cars down. I helped get Isaac's bags to his car.

"Relax, nothing is going to happen and if it does, I'll call you." I nodded. With everyone else I knew he was going to be okay, I believed in Ben, but I still worried, because this was the first time for both of them.


	7. Chapter 7

Nothing had gotten done according to plan. The house cleaning that I wanted to do without a kid around, didn't happen. Instead I found myself in the airport waiting for my flight to be called. I had called Ben telling him that if he had to bring Isaac home earlier then planned, to call my mother. I then sent him a text with her number.

The kiss had played through my mind on repeat. It felt like something more was there, but then again, it felt like that was him saying his good-bye with us. Honestly, I wanted there to be more with us. I was stupid by leaving the way I had. I really wanted to change that but I couldn't. I couldn't make him love me again. I could prove to him that I had grew up.

"Huh!" I didn't even acknowledge Jon. I wasn't ready to fight with him. I had to apologize but that was it. I had been out of line. I didn't expect him to fix my problems for me. I just wanted his opinion on everything. I wanted his insight. He knows me better than I do most days. I really thought he would have been more understanding. But what do I know these days? "So what? It's like that now?" He asked, stepping onto the elevator with me.

"Like what?" I asked, letting the handle of my suitcase go, to cross my arms over my chest. "You're the one that wrote me off. I just wanted some advice, because you have never let me down before. But there really is a time for everything isn't there? I guess I know who not to turn to in the future. You've made it clear. Sorry I thought you were my friend, that I could count on."

"You don't get it do you?" He asked a scary amusement to his voice. I shook my head, grabbing my suitcase. Whatever he was doing, I didn't have the time for it.

"I don't have time for this, Jon. I'm not exactly in the mood for riddles and your head games," I told him, stepping off the elevator.

"What do you have stuffed up your ass?" He hissed in my ear, walking next to me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I yelled, stopping outside my hotel room. He said nothing grabbing the room key from my hand. He gestured for me to go first. I dropped my bags on the bed, letting my suitcase sit on the floor by the end of the bed. Whatever was going on here I was at a complete loss. By now I should be able to read him, like an open book. But he wasn't making sense.

"You're so obsessed over Ben and wanting him back, you don't see shit that's right in front of your face. I can't sit or stand here and pretend that I don't matter anymore." Where was this coming from? He was nuts to think like that.

"Jon, you matter a lot to me."

"Not like that," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. I frowned looking at him. He wasn't admitting that he had feelings for me, was he? "Maybe if you actually noticed the people around you, you'd have that special someone already." Feeling the tips of his fingers graze my skin, pushing hair from my face, I froze, my eyes getting lost in his crystal blue orbs. My eyes closed feeling his lips on mine in an aggressive kiss. Upon opening my eyes he was gone. My lips still tingled from the kiss. My head couldn't take anymore of this. I had enough problems sorting my feelings out for Ben, now I had to figure out things with Jon. This wasn't how my day was suppose to go.

"They had informed me downstairs that I'd have a roommate and a travel partner this weekend. I just wasn't expecting it to be you." I smiled seeing Summer Rae. The other divas may have their problems with her but she was my girl. She did nothing wrong to me.

"I wasn't told either, so this is a nice surprise," I smiled, sitting on a bed. I could tell her most things when it came to guys. "Can I ask you something?" I asked, turning to look at her.

"Sure, what's up?" She asked, sitting down to face me.

"It's this whole mess with Ben and now Jon, he kissed me..." I paused, fishing for my phone that was blaring Monster by Eminem. "Sorry, I gotta take this," I told her, seeing who was calling. "Hey, is Isaac okay?" I asked, starting to panic. What other reason would he be calling.

"He's fine, busy playing with toy cars. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't allergic to anything. You never said."

"He's not," I confirmed.

"Good, you were right about the pancakes. But you should be."

"Yeah. I'll let you get back to Isaac. Give him a hug and a kiss for me." I knew he was in good hands, so I tried not to worry about that, but I missed him. A lot.

"Will do," he replied hanging up. I tossed my phone on the bed, getting a look from Summer.

"What?" I asked, raising an eye brow at her. I was ready for an earful. I had unloaded a lot but nothing of value for her.

"I'm afraid you've kept me out of the loop. Ben knows about Isaac? You guys getting along? What about Jon? I know the man pines for you, but still."

"Wait! What?" I asked, stopping her onslaught of questions. Was I really that oblivious to everything around me? "He does not pine for me."

"Okay, where have you been?" She asked with a chuckle. This was nuts. Why didn't he ever say something sooner? He could have hinted at it. Or maybe he had, and I missed it. "Think about it Ash, he's showing up outta the blue to check on you. I believe he tried to burn your house down cooking breakfast for you."

"I never told anyone that it was him." How did she know? "He didn't try!"

"No, but I knew he was going to see you, I overheard. Twitter, sometimes it's not your friend. But my point, he's been waiting on the side for you to finally get over this thing with Ben. But I don't think you will."

"That's not fair. I up and left him for my career. I finally told him after 4 years."

"Then maybe you didn't love him as much as you had thought. You have to get over your guilt. Maybe you're covering your true feelings for Jon with the pain, the guilt, even the misery you've caused yourself. Think about it. Maybe deep down, the day you left him, it was over between you guys and you couldn't admit it." Maybe she had point. A really good one at that.

"I don't know," I sighed, falling back on the bed. I was truly lost. My love life went from none at all to very complicated. I didn't have the time to figure everything out. I had a show in a few hours and I needed to clear my mind, and focus on other aspects of my life.

"It may seem hard now, but you'll sort it out. If you pick Jon, he's waited this long, he'll wait for you to come to your sense's. If your heart really does belong to Ben, then everything will get fixed." I truly believed her, on which one, I wasn't sure.


	8. Chapter 8

How am I suppose to sleep when all I can think about is Jon's lips on mine? How can I function right when all I feel is his lips pressed against mine? A fire that spread through my body, that was quickly extinguished once his lips were away from mine. The last time I felt like that was... never. Kisses with Ben were never quite that amazing. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wasn't Ben that I was destined to be with. Maybe it was Jon. I loved Ben, though. What did this mean? I was so lost on who I had feelings for and the right choice to make. I couldn't afford to make a mistake, not with Isaac around. Without him in the picture I would have jumped at being with Jon. But he was such a huge part of Isaac's life, I couldn't risk that, could I? No, I sighed, chewing on my lip.

"Hey girl, you alright?" Nat asked sitting down, with Trinity and Rosa. I had been friends with the three of them for a while now, more so with Nat and Rosa as they have been on the main roster longer than Trinity has been. I could simply lie to them and let this whole mess with Jon and Ben fight in my head and let them speculate at what's wrong or I could just tell them and get their insight on all of this.

"Yeah, you seem a little out of it," Rosa commented.

"I've been hanging out with Isaac's father more." They didn't know that Ben was the father, I didn't feel comfortable in telling them that. "Things started off rocky between us but then things had gotten better, I know I'm the one to blame for things being like crap between us, but I still have feelings for him, then last night outta the blue, Jon got mad, told me I didn't see the things around me and kissed me," I explained with a sigh. "I just don't know what to do, or how I feel about Jon."

"Oh man, girl I love ya and all, but I would hate to be in your place," Trinity told me. I nodded, understanding where she was coming from. I hated to be in my place as well. "You've never in all the time you've spent with Jon, ever thought of him as more than a friend?" She asked. I shook my head. They weren't thoughts that had ever entered my head, not even when I saw him in nothing but a towel.

"He was a friend just like Sam is. I never once thought to cross that line that we made. I never thought he would see me more than a friend. We goofed off all the time, we harmlessly flirted with each other, but I never thought anything of it," I explained, blowing on my steaming hot cup of Pomegranate Green Tea.

"Maybe you should just go out on a date with him and see what happens. It's the only way to figure out your feelings," Nat suggested. Maybe she had a point, a really good point at that.

"Let him know where you stand on this whole thing. He's gotta to understanding, that you're still trying to figure things out," Rosa added in. I nodded, glancing up to see Jon walk in, his baby blue's locked onto mine. Did my heart always race this fast when he was around? Did I always have the little butterflies in my stomach, when he was around? Did any of that happen when I was with Ben? I tried to think about it but I couldn't remember.

"Oh hey, girls look at the time, we got to go," Nat announced getting up. "I know it's scary to go from being friends to being something more, but don't let that stand in your way. You could have something magical with Jon, if you let yourself. Give yourself that chance, Ashlynn." I nodded, realizing in that moment that she was right and in order to figure out where my feelings with Jon stand, I had to do something about them.

"What did you do to scare them off?" Jon asked, with a chuckle sitting down across from me. I rolled my eyes at his lame attempt at a joke. "Look about the kiss last night," Jon started to say.

"It was unexpected, Jon. But I needed that, in order to come back to reality. I've been so worried about Ben and what he was going to say when I saw him again and that maybe things could go back to the way they were before I bolted on him. I wanted Isaac to have both his parents together like a real family, but, whether I'm with Ben or we live our lives differently at different houses, Isaac will now and forever have his father in his life. It's time I move on with my own life and stop wondering when things are going to work for me. I have to make them work. Jon, I don't know how I feel about you as anything more than a friend," I told him, needing to stop to catch my breath and stall for a few more seconds, hoping that I was doing the right thing here.

"I get that, I sprung so much shit on you last night, I shouldn't have done that," he told me, shaking his head. I placed my hand on top of his, feeling a tingling sensation course through my body, had that always been there? Was I really that blind of things with Jon?

"No, you should have done that sooner. I was living in this fantasy world, where I needed everything with Ben to work out. I was only kidding myself. After what I did to Ben, he's not going to want to be with me again. I've broken the trust he had in me. I can't give him my trust back. Why should I miss out on something amazing? Especially when that something amazing is sitting in front of me?" I asked, watching the frown on his face slowly turn into a smirk.

"You mean that?" Jon asked. I nodded, giving him a smile.

"Like I said before said, Jon, I don't know my true feelings as of now, but I hope I do soon, and in the mean time, you can pick me up in an hour and we can spend the day together before the show." I had to jump in, I just didn't want to be doing the wrong thing, this could go two ways and I really wanted things to be good between us. "We just need to take things slow, and I don't want to ruin what we have as friends either," I clarified for him.

"I know and we'll go at whatever pace you want. Just as long as you let me prove that we have something real between us." I nodded, getting up.

"I will," I told him, kissing his cheek, walking off to my room. Things seemed to be okay. My head was still a mess with feelings, but they were slowly clearing up.

Sitting on my bed, I smiled opening the message that Ben had sent me of Isaac at the Zoo, a grin spread across his face seeing the lions. He always did love the lions the most. He stood in front of their enclosure for hours on end watching them. I laughed seeing a picture of the two of them acting like monkey's, with the monkey's in the background. I was really happy they were having fun so far today. With my mind at ease about Isaac, I got ready for my afternoon with Jon, not knowing what to expect from any of this.


	9. Chapter 9

_"This is your idea of a date?" I asked, chewing my lip as we walked around the city. People hurrying past us, like we were the ones slowing everyone down._

_"What hurry are we in? We both already ate," he commented with a shrug. "Today is nice, what better way to spend it than walking around the city?" He asked. I shrugged, letting his hand go, wrapping myself around him. We had all day to do nothing, but waste it together. It did seem perfect._

_"I can't think of any," I replied, with a smile. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. "As long as you buy me an iced coffee," I smirked._

_"I think I can manage that," he chuckled, kissing the top of my head. Yeah, this was perfect._

"Mommy," Isaac yelled, running straight for me. I bent down, catching him. I placed a kiss to his head, standing up. "I go play?" He asked, eyeing the playground.

"Go for it," I told him. I sat down on a bench, Ben joining me. "He give you any trouble?"

"None. We had fun. I'd like to have him more often."

"We can do whatever works for you. We can always do it weekly, exchange at NXT, if that works," I suggested. I had kept them apart far to long, I couldn't do it to them again. Isaac deserved to have his father in his life as close to full-time as he could get. I didn't see a point in taking all this to court. That's just a waste of time and money.

"Yeah, that works," he nodded, turning to be in deep thought.

"I know you travel with the main roster on the weekends, you can take him with you or my Mom would be happy to watch him. Your choice, there. I'll let you parent how you want to." I couldn't tell him how to raise his kid in his own home. I could help him out and give him tips but not tell him, he needed to figure out what worked best for him. He was a good kid. Did what was asked of him. From time to time he would act up. But what kid didn't?

"We'll have to see when the time comes." I nodded my eyes looking over the park to watch Isaac on the jungle gym. "I have stuff to do, so I'm gonna go say bye to Isaac. I'll be in touch to finalize everything."

"Okay," I told him, nodding him. It was nice to be friends with him to some degree. I didn't want anything more, not now that I had Jon. But for the fighting to stop between us, it was nice. I watched him walk over too Isaac before leaving. He was actually a pretty good father not that I expected anything less from him. After Ben left Isaac came running over.

"We get ice cream?" He asked.

"Did you and Daddy have lunch?" I asked getting up, holding his hand.

"Subs Mommy," he informed me.

"Okay, we'll stop and get some ice cream." I smiled seeing how his face lit up. I loved watching how excited he got over the littlest things. It was going to be weird only having him every other week, but it's what Isaac needed, I'd learn to cope with it.

After the ice cream bath he gave himself, he found himself in the bathtub. I swear more water found its way to the floor rather than on him. The phone ringing had me stopping in the middle of cleaning the water up.

"Hey," I smiled, walking back to the bathroom to finish with the water mess.

"Isaac, home yet?" He asked.

"Yep, and he has already tempted to flood the bathroom. Why?" I asked, his question peeking my interest.

"No real reason," he replied. I could hear the smirk behind his words. I went to reply but the knock at the door won.

"Hold on," I told him. My mother walks right on in. Come to think of it so does Sam when he comes to visit, Jon as well. It could be Ben, Isaac could have forgotten something. If it wasn't Ben, it would have to be some stranger. "Jon," I gasped dropping the phone seeing him standing there with a dozen Daisies, white and yellow ones. Right in the middle was one lone rose. I took the flowers from him, quickly kissing him. I went to the kitchen to get them in a vase filled with water. Daisies were my favorite flower.

"Uncle Jon," Isaac beamed, launching himself at Jon, who happily caught him, spinning him around in a circle. I watched them horsing around. Jon had always been good with Isaac.

"Where's Isaac?" I asked, walking into the living room with a bowl of popcorn, by request.

"The little boys room. He had to go before we start the movie, he doesn't want to miss any of the high-flying plane action that's about to go down," he smirked. I laughed, moving closer to him. Isaac came running back, jumping between the two of us. I smiled settling in. We've had movie days with Jon before but they had never felt anything like being a real family. This was what I was looking for, I couldn't believe that it was right under my nose the whole time.

"What?" I asked seeing Jon looking at me.

"I think Isaac will have to stop calling me uncle at some point. Don't you think?"

"You think so highly of yourself don't you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Babe, I ain't ever letting go. You ain't getting rid of me ever. You run, I'll chase." I kissed his cheek, hearing the seriousness behind his words. If Ben chased after me would things have been different? Or would things have fallen apart anyway? Not that it mattered, I was right where I wanted to be after getting a harsh slap to my face.

"I ain't running anywhere, I'm right where I belong. We'll have to explain things to him and have him tone down the uncle calling," I whispered. Jon smiled, pulling me across his lap. I felt very content, like this was all going to work out.


	10. Chapter 10

**This story has went off on its own accord. I had something totally different in mind for it and at some point it turned into this. And well, with that being said, this chapter ends this story. Thanks to all that have read, reviewed, alerted and favorited. Enjoy!**

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><p>Things with Ben have been going wonderfully. The hatred he use to have for me, has slowly diminished into nothing. After looking past everything that went wrong in the past, due all on me, we've actually became quite close. It was amazing to have him as another good friend. I'm more than okay with just being friends. I don't know why I never got over my feelings for him, but now that I have, I've realized that I've been over him for years now. I guess I just wanted something to hold onto. His love was the one thing I had to hold onto. But now I see that it's time I let that love go. I'm always going to love him as Isaac's father, but that's it. I had wonderful times with him and I'm going to cherish them, but that was the past and I'm tired of living in the past. It was time to move on and live in the present. Dream about the future.<p>

Things with Jon have been nothing but amazing. He's always there to put me into my place, much like I'm there to put him into his place. I guess the saying love is blind, really is true. I love him a lot and it scares the hell out of me, but I wouldn't ever go back, not now. Not after everything I've been through to get to this point in my life. I have everything I could ever ask for. I have the best boyfriend in the world, my son was the absolute best and cutest one. Isaac had both his parents in his life, plus more people to care for him. He was lucky to have so many people care for him.

I just didn't think life could get any better. Worse, yes. Better, no. There just wasn't any way for that to happen. Kids and marriage would make it better, but at this moment in my life, I'm not ready for marriage or even any more kids. So life was as good as it could possible get.

"_Little Jessie James, thinks she has the power of the wild west on her side. Hunny anyone ever tell you that we no longer live in the wild west? You ain't nothing like you thought you were. I'll ruin you," Sasha stated, looking at me. I nodded walking down the ramp my own mic in hand._

"_I don't need the wild west to take down the Boss of NXT. I just need a ring, which we have here and a ref, since we're both inside of said ring," I smirked, walking to stand in front of her. "Sweetheart, you don't scare me. You may scare people into being your friend, but come on now, it's just that you're scared that they will take your spot and become the NXT Woman's champion before you. You're nothing but a scared little girl," I smirked, dropping my mic, getting right in her face. "Admit it, Sasha!" I yelled, shoving her backwards._

"_You're wrong," she seethed, running at me. I grabbed her planting her with a DDT. I grabbed my stomach the second I was on the mat looking up at Becky. "You don't know anything," Sasha seethed, leaving the ring with Becky. I sat up my hand staying around my stomach. I glared as they walked off._

"_You'll get what's coming to you, both of you will!" I yelled, at their smirking faces._

I left the trainers room with my ribs wrapped. They were bruised slightly. It wasn't just from the spear from Becky tonight. They've been hurting for a few weeks now. I just never thought much of it. The pain never really lasted long. I was going to suck the pain up and keep doing what I love. I could tell they weren't broken. I didn't want to be out of action yet again. I'd endure the pain for as long as I had to.

"_That was quite the spear out there. You alright?"_

"_Now we all can't finish our match in just 20 seconds," I smirked. "I'll be fine. Try to ease up on the poor sucker stuck in the ring with you," I stated, looking up to see the small smile on his face._

"_Yeah, no promise's there," he smirked. I laughed, walking off with him._

"So your life seems to have turned." I smirked coming to a spot next to him.

"For the better even. I don't even know why I was so pissed in the first place. I had to suck up my pride up and be honest with myself. I love it here. The atmosphere is so different here, and it's one that I want to be a part of," I explained to him. "But you know that, since you're the boss. You knew that this was the right step for me. Didn't you?" I asked, already knowing the answer to my own question.

"Sure did, we have a spot on the main roster with your name on it."

"Would I still get to be a part of NXT?" I asked, biting my lip. I wasn't ready to leave this place yet, but I was ready to jump back in on the main roster. I didn't want to turn down the one chance I had, not knowing if I would get that chance again.

"You still have a feud with Sasha Banks going on. So I think it's safe to say, you'll still be a part of NXT."

I nodded, a smile plastered on my face. I was ready for whatever was going to come my way. My career was in the right spot, my love life was right on track and Isaac had his father in his life. Yeah, life really was good.


End file.
